I am continually learning. If I ever come to a place where I think I have reached perfection, then I may have missed the point of the lesson in that moment in my life. Growing up has never come without its struggles and trials. When there is a bit of “growing pain” involved in the process of learning, then I know that progress is being made.  However, when I first go through this process of learning it does not feel good, hence the word “pain”. So, my pride will flare up and my defense is at its highest, prepared for any other attack that could be on its way from the outside world. If more attacks come, then one of two things will happen: fight or flight.

When I am studying or performing certain tasks, much of my focus is centered on that task, especially when that task is necessary for one reason or another.  So, many times during class, for example, we will be reading through a text in Russian and I may mispronounce a word (this happens often). I do not know the language well at all and am still having a hard time with the grammar, but because of the” pain” of growth and being told that I am wrong my defense and temper is ready for action. Sometimes, I truly think my teacher realizes this and is ready to add one extra comment, into the midst of my mind trying to grasp around the moment of learning. This is where the character and power of God’s love comes over me and he truly allows me to keep calm and composed, through the conflict within my mind. Therefore, chaos is avoided along with avoidance of any unnecessary pain for either side of the conversation.

Another example, comes from days as a young and very imaginative boy having many adventures with my brothers and cousins. My cousin, Jerod, has always been the leader of our little squad and being the first to place imaginative instructions into our playing field. Once the first idea is placed, we are then all free to add the filling to the structure that has been set before us. However, this is a delicate situation, especially at young ages and the inability to control emotions.  If Jerod does not see the logic, he will correct that individual until everyone’s thoughts are aligned with each others’.  Both of us are close to the same age; therefore, are both willing to fight for being correct.  This is exactly what we have done many times during our games. We would fight, but not only with words, because we didn’t know many except for name-calling, but also with our fists. Soon, the atmosphere would be filled with the dust being kicked up by our wrestling selves and the words of our anger towards one another.  When all said and done, bruises, tears, and hurt feelings were all that remained from our quick-acting pride.

This is something I have been able to see time and time again, while I have been here in Russia. “I do not like being wrong”, I answered to one of my friends, “but I do not mind learning from those moments.”  I have been wrong many times, but I have also been right many times. However, it has never been my focus to point out someone else’s mistake, except by use of God’s ultimate Word that proves to be the ultimate corrector and truth for our lives. We must be slow to becoming angry and using words that will only hurt or tear down another person. Yet, we must be quick to listen and think in those instances how to help that person, or even ourselves, through understanding and truly allow the love of God to cover our lives, so as to be continually used as His witness.

Kevin S.