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Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Living With Change
9:12 AM | Posted by
TeamUfa
The following comes from Tara Woodall on what it's like to be a mom here in Ufa, adjusting to a new culture, language, way of life, and raising kids at the same time. Thanks Tara for sharing your experiences with us!
I have always been someone who gets excited about a big change. I even tend to get bored when I have been in the same situation for very long. The fact that I like change so much is interesting to me because I am not always the most relaxed person. I am a perfectionist, and I don’t like thinking that I am not doing something well enough-- especially when it comes to being a mom. You can imagine the lessons I have learned coming to Russia for the first time with two small children!
Our third week in Ufa I thought I was adjusting pretty well, but my then 3-year-old daughter was faithful to give me a little more insight into the true state of my emotions. After leaving both kids (my son was 17 months) in the bedroom to play while I did housework for a few minutes, I came back to check on them (they had gotten way too quite) only to find a LOT of hair on the floor. I quickly realized that Rebekah had found the haircutting kit and had happily gone to work on herself (it took a year to grow back). I think she had just started on my son’s hair when I walked in the room. My tearful reaction to what is now a funny memory showed me that I was not as calm and cool as I hoped. I am thankful Rebekah doesn’t seem to remember my momentary meltdown.
Some other adjustment needs I experienced as a mom include realizing that I had to learn a new standard for dressing my children warmly (even when I didn’t consider it to be cold) in order to not get chided in public by strangers; realizing that shopping has to be done every day- preferably without kids- since everything must be carried home; and accepting that public transportation would become a part of every family outing or errand. Riding a tiny bus alone with two small children plus bags is always a last resort, so I have to plan carefully what I can do with the kids!
To adjust to life here I have had to accept certain changes in our lives. I have now accepted that I am not a bad mom to let my husband do the shopping most days, since he actually likes to shop and gets out more anyway. I have learned better how to plan ahead for the details of my week. I have learned how not to let fears get in the way of doing what I need to do. I am learning to let my kids have their own experiences in life with guidance but not as much worrying as before. Rebekah now attends Russian public kindergarten two days a week- it’s a stretch for her some days but she is just fine! Some of my “greatest” cultural adjustment victories are the days that I can take both kids out on a very cold day and not have a single babushka (grandmother) find a reason to chide me about keeping my kids warm! (It’s really a small thing, I know, but some days it’s just the encouragement I need.)
I say some of this lightheartedly, of course, but truly the adjustments have been many and none would have been possible without daily strength from the Lord (and much help from my husband). I have seen myself more clearly than ever during the past year, which has been painful at times but a very good experience. I hope I am a better mom than before because I have had to face my weaknesses and to realize that I will never be in control and will never have it all figured out. I still get excited about change, but I am also discovering a new appreciation for the familiar. Just being a mom keeps life interesting enough!
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